Day16: What Matters Most

 What Matters Most

No matter what I say, what I believe, and

what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

1 Corinthians 13:3b (Msg)

Love means living the way God commanded us

to live. As you have heard from the beginning,

his command is this: Live a life of love.

2 John 1:6 (NCV)

Life is all about love.

Because God is love, the most important lesson he wants you

to learn on earth is how to love. It is in loving that we are most

like him, so love is the foundation of every command he has given

us: “The whole Law can be summed up in this one command: ‘Love

others as you love yourself.’” 1

Learning to love unselfishly is not an easy task. It runs counter

to our self-centered nature. That’s why we’re given a lifetime to

learn it. Of course, God wants us to love everyone, but he is

particularly concerned that we learn to love others in his family.

As we’ve already seen, this is the second purpose for your life.

Peter tells us, “Show special love for God’s people.” 2 Paul echoes this

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sentiment: “When we have the opportunity to help anyone, we should

do it. But we should give special attention to those who are in the

family of believers.” 3

Why does God insist that we give special love and attention to

other believers? Why do they get priority in loving? Because God

wants his family to be known for its love more than

anything else. Jesus said our love for each other—not

our doctrinal beliefs—is our greatest witness to the

world. He said, “Your strong love for each other will

prove to the world that you are my disciples.” 4

In heaven we will enjoy God’s family forever, but

first we have some tough work to do here on earth to prepare

ourselves for an eternity of loving. God trains us by giving us

“family responsibilities,” and the foremost of these is to practice

loving each other. 

God wants you to be in regular, close fellowship with other

believers so you can develop the skill of loving. Love cannot be

learned in isolation. You have to be around people—irritating,

imperfect, frustrating people. Through fellowship we learn three

important truths.

The Best Use of Life Is Love

Love should be your top priority, primary objective, and

greatest ambition. Love is not a good part of your life; it’s the most

important part. The Bible says, “Let love be your greatest aim.” 5

It’s not enough to say, “One of the things I want in life is to be

loving,” as if it’s in your top ten list. Relationships must have

priority in your life above everything else. Why? 

Life without love is really worthless. Paul makes this point:

“No matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt

without love.” 6

Often we act as if relationships are something to be squeezed

into our schedule. We talk about finding time for our children or

making time for people in our lives. That gives the impression

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DAY SIXTEEN:

WHAT

MATTERS

MOST

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that relationships are just a part of our lives along with many

other tasks. But God says relationships are what life is all about. 

Four of the Ten Commandments deal with our relationship to

God while the other six deal with our relationships with people.

But all ten are about relationships! Later, Jesus summarized what

matters most to God in two statements: love God and love

people. He said, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your

heart. . . .’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is

equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the other

commandments and all the demands of the prophets are based on

these two commandments.” 7 After learning to love God (worship),

learning to love others is the second purpose of your life.

Relationships, not achievements or the acquisition of things,

are what matters most in life. So why do we allow our

relationships to get the short end of the stick? When our

schedules become overloaded, we start skimming relationally,

cutting back on giving the time, energy, and attention that loving

relationships require. What’s most important to God is displaced

by what’s urgent.

Busyness is a great enemy of relationships. We become

preoccupied with making a living, doing our work, paying

bills, and accomplishing goals as if these tasks are the

point of life. They are not. The point of life is

learning to love—God and people. Life minus love

equals zero.

Love will last forever. Another reason God tells us

to make love our top priority is that it is eternal: “These

three things continue forever: faith, hope, and love. And

the greatest of these is love.” 8

Love leaves a legacy. How you treated other people, not your

wealth or accomplishments, is the most enduring impact you can

leave on earth. As Mother Teresa said, “It’s not what you do, but

how much love you put into it that matters.” Love is the secret of

a lasting heritage. 

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I have been at the bedside of many people in their final

moments, when they stand on the edge of eternity, and I have

never heard anyone say, “Bring me my diplomas! I want to look

at them one more time. Show me my awards, my medals, that

gold watch I was given.” When life on earth is ending, people

don’t surround themselves with objects. What we want around us

is people—people we love and have relationships with. 

In our final moments we all realize that relationships are what

life is all about. Wisdom is learning that truth sooner rather than

later. Don’t wait until you’re on

your deathbed to figure out that

nothing matters more. 

We will be evaluated on our

love. The third reason to make

learning to love the goal of your life

is that it is what we will be

evaluated on in eternity. One of the ways God measures spiritual

maturity is by the quality of your relationships. In heaven God

won’t say, “Tell me about your career, your bank account, and

your hobbies.” Instead he will review how you treated other

people, particularly those in need.9 Jesus said the way to love him

is to love his family and care for their practical needs: “Truly I tell

you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of

my family, you did it to me.” 10

When you transfer into eternity, you will leave everything else

behind. All you’re taking with you is your character. That’s why

the Bible says, “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself

through love.” 11

Knowing this, I suggest that when you wake up every morning,

you kneel by your bed, or sit on the edge of it, and pray this: “God,

whether I get anything else done today, I want to make sure that I

spend time loving you and loving other people—because that’s

what life is all about. I don’t want to waste this day.” Why should

God give you another day if you’re going to waste it?

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Relationships are what 

life is all about. 

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The Best Expression of Love Is Time

The importance of things can be measured by how much time

we are willing to invest in them. The more time you give to

something, the more you reveal its importance and value to you.

If you want to know a person’s priorities, just look at how they

use their time.

Time is your most precious gift because you only have a set

amount of it. You can make more money, but you can’t make

more time. When you give someone your time, you are giving

them a portion of your life that you’ll never get back. Your time is

your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is

your time. 

It is not enough just to say relationships are important; we

must prove it by investing time in them. Words alone are

worthless. “My children, our love should not be just words and talk;

it must be true love, which shows itself in action.” 12 Relationships

take time and effort, and the best

way to spell love is “T–I–M–E.” 

The essence of love is not what we

think or do or provide for others,

but how much we give of ourselves.

Men, in particular, often don’t

understand this. Many have said to

me, “I don’t understand my wife and kids. I provide everything

they need. What more could they want?” They want you! Your

eyes, your ears, your time, your attention, your presence, your

focus—your time. Nothing can take the place of that.

The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or

chocolate. It is focused attention. Love concentrates so intently on

another that you forget yourself at that moment. Attention says,

“I value you enough to give you my most precious asset—my

time.” Whenever you give your time, you are making a sacrifice,

and sacrifice is the essence of love. Jesus modeled this: “Be full of

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The greatest gift you can give

someone is your time.  

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love for others, following the example of Christ who loved you and

gave Himself to God as a sacrifice to take away your sins.” 13

You can give without loving, but you cannot love without

giving. “God so loved the world that he gave. . . .” 14 Love means

giving up—yielding my preferences, comfort, goals, security,

money, energy, or time for the benefit of someone else. 

The Best Time to Love Is Now

Sometimes procrastination is a legitimate response

to a trivial task. But because love is what matters

most, it takes top priority. The Bible stresses this

repeatedly. It says, “Whenever we have the

opportunity, we should do good to everyone.” 15 “Use

every chance you have for doing good.” 16 “Whenever

you possibly can, do good to those who need it. Never

tell your neighbor to wait until tomorrow if you can help

them now.” 17

Why is now the best time to express love? Because you don’t

know how long you will have the opportunity. Circumstances

change. People die. Children grow up. You have no guarantee of

tomorrow. If you want to express love, you had better do it now. 

Knowing that one day you will stand before God, here are

some questions you need to consider: How will you explain those

times when projects or things were more important to you than

people? Who do you need to start spending more time with?

What do you need to cut out of your schedule to make that

possible? What sacrifices do you need to make? 

The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time.

The best time to love is now.

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Day Sixteen

Thinking about My Purpose

Point to Ponder: Life is all about love.

Verse to Remember: “The entire law is summed up in a

single command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” 

Galatians 5:14 (NIV)

Question to Consider: Honestly, are relationships my

first priority? How can I ensure that they are?

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